Mary's Secret Life

                                        Out of the blue at breakfast; "Mary drives the car at night." 

Santa

Christian was in a particularly bad mood today. Mom was telling him we could go to the park to see Santa tonight.
Christian: "I hate Santa."
Mom: "Why?!"
Christian: "He's scary!"
Mom: "Don't you want to tell him what you want for Christmas?"
Christian: "I want fireman boots. You can tell him."

We did get him to sit on Santa's lap. Unfortunately, Santa was a little hard of hearing.
Santa: "You want farmer boots? That's a good profession."
Luckily, Santa figured it out.